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Your mind is what kept me around. Completely self conscience I would debate with you on topics I knew nothing about to demonstrate humility. To show you that I can admit when I'm wrong. I've been wrong about a countless many things but I am not wrong about this. I love you and I can never say it.

I fear that I have pushed you away and will have to spend the rest if my life knowing that I let you slip through my grasp. I have to leave soon. Back "over there". It's not true our work is done in the Middle East, and I already have my orders. I wish I could be honest Hookers in in Long beach tell you what I really do, but this has been my only success with keeping a secret from you.

It's not imminent danger or even death that frightens me as it did my first few tours, it's something else now. Knowing that when I leave, I'll never see you again, even if its not a casket I come home in. You'll have moved on, probably married by then, have started a family, a life that no longer includes me. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic in love with the idea of us, but these are the facts and they're undeniable.

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